There are so many ways women can be safer when out exploring the world – or even at home. But many either do not know basic self defense or the strategies they can use to reduce their chance of being a victim.
As moms, we tend to get tunnel vision in life. Our focus is on protecting our kids and our families, but we forget about ourselves. Below are some of the top ways you can stay safe in todays not so safe world.
Be Aware of Your Surroundings
Typically known as “situational awareness”, make it a habit to know what’s going on around you. When you walk into a room be sure to look left and right to see who is there and always find the exits. When you walk out of a door, immediately look to your left and right to see if anyone is lingering and look behind you often to make sure someone’s not following you. You don’t have to be paranoid, but you need to be aware.
Bad people are just waiting for a target that is unaware of their surroundings.
Get Off Your Phone
Is that phone call or text to your best friend about the Walmart chick you saw wearing nude colored leggings REALLY as important as your safety? That call/text can wait until you are in your car safely (with the doors locked). Not only are you able to be aware of your surroundings by any human threat, but you can pay attention to the traffic around you and not get run over.
This is especially important when you have kids in tow. Accidents can happen in just seconds. Reduce phone time to emergencies when you are out with the kids so you can stay focused.
You cannot stay aware when you are engaged in a call so put that phone down.
Don’t Leave Your Purse Unattended
Whether you are hanging your bag on the back of a chair or on a table, it will be a high opportunity that thieves will seize. This is a truly dangerous thing because not only are you going to lose your cash and your credit cards, but your personal safety is at risk because they now have your home address. This extends the danger time to well past the moment he or she walked by your shopping cart or restaurant chair and nicked your bag when you weren’t paying attention to the next time you’re away at a soccer game, and they break in while you’re gone. Or…while you’re there. And if not them, someone they know looking for an easy mark.
Quick Tip #1: Get a carabiner from the sporting goods section – looks like this:
Use it to wrap your shoulder strap through a shopping cart a few time (because the safety strap is probably being used for your child), then use the clip to attach the looped end to the cart. It’s a quick snap in, and easy lever to remove when you’re ready to go. You can also do this in a restaurant as well. Just make sure your carabiner isn’t weak, but you don’t have to get an industrial size one. You can even get cute ones in shapes of hearts or houses or dog bones, etc. (but make sure they aren’t super light weight). You can store the carabiner on the strap, and it will only take you about 12 seconds to strap your bag to the cart or chair. 12 seconds. That’s a micro-fraction of the time that you stand looking at what flavor of yogurt to buy.
Quick Tip #2 – Consider not carrying a purse (I know – super radical, and odd coming from someone who believes in carrying a day bag), but in all situations, do you absolutely need to carry in a purse to the store? Is your wallet so huge that you can’t tuck it into your pocket ? Do you really need your lipstick and brush and makeup bag and all the other stuff for quick runs into Target? There may be times when leaving it in the trunk locked up is a better idea. Just consider it. I carry my wallet and my car keys on my body. I do not keep them in my day bag. That way, if ever I walk off and forget my bag, someone happens to cut the strap and steal it, my money, my identity and my means of escape are on me, not with them. I hear your argument that your clothes don’t have pockets, etc. To me, safety is infinitely more important than fashion (and coincidentally, my husband agrees!)
Quick Tip #3 – Don’t leave your purse in plain site in your car. Car jackings/burglaries are on the rise, and many times it’s just a hit and run – knock out the glass, reach in to grab a purse and run. Keep your purse out of plain site instead of leaving it on the car seat next to you.
Lock the Door Behind You
Make it an absolute rule of thumb that when you get into your car, lock the door immediately (if nothing else, just use the remote you’ve already got in your hand to lock up, too). When you come in from outside, lock the door immediately. When you go into a bathroom stall – lock first THEN find a place to put your bag. Too often bad guys don’t get you when you’re going INTO the building or car, but will wait until you think you’re safe and relax your guard, and then open that door and you’re stuck.
Don’t let the perceived ‘safety’ of your car or house keep you from actually being safe.
Speak Up
Do not be afraid to speak to someone to ask them to not come closer if approaching you in a parking lot. Do not be afraid to yell for help if they don’t stop. Do not be afraid to speak loudly to someone so that you can get the attention of others nearby. Do not be afraid to let your wishes be known that you do not want to be harmed. Might you be embarrassed if it turns out that you misunderstood the situation? What’s a few minutes embarrassment when you read a situation incorrectly and ask for help compared to a situation where you stood and froze, too scared to say something because you didn’t want to embarrass yourself and were harmed.
Scream, yell, command – use your voice!
Park Safely
When parking, choose spots that are well-lit, amongst other cars, and as close to the main entrances of a building as you can. Lock your car quickly, but keep your keys handy in case you have to get back in. Be aware of someone loitering near your car (do not approach) and always check in and around your car before entering. When loading your trunk, do so as quickly as you can and always keep aware on your surroundings of someone approaching.
Keep your keys handy and do not fumble in your purse for them.
Answer the Door
Typically, we’ve been told, “If you’re home alone and someone knocks, don’t answer – they’ll go away.” But, we are seeing more and more that burglars are doing home invasions assuming that if no one answers, it’s safe to go in. Locally, we’ve been told by our police department to answer with a call for who it is, and let them know you’re on the phone or won’t be answering the door or other ways to let the person know you aren’t going to be opening the door. Never actually answer the door even for a service person you are expecting until you’ve been able to confirm that they are actually who they say they are.
Do not invite a predator in but let them know your home.
Trust Your Instincts
Always trust your gut. If you feel something weird about a situation, get out of it. If you have a sense of dread about walking into a dark area, don’t – find some light. If a person is giving you cause to be concerned, excuse yourself from the conversation or cross the street to get away from them. I’m not talking about paranoia, I’m talking about that instinct that we tend to push aside – the hair raising on the back of your neck, goosebumps on your arms…all telling you to flee!
Learn How to Use a Gun
Guns are a touchy subject, but it is a solid way to protect yourself. If you are in a carry state you can have a small one in your purse which can do wonders to keep yourself protected. But training will be critical. You will need to learn how to aim, draw, take off the safety, reload and more. Go to the range and practice. Take a shooting course that focuses on safety training. Having a gun on you and in your home offers a true sense of security. Always make sure all guns are locked at home though!
If you’re going to have a gun, learn how to use it properly and continue to practice with it.
Don’t Make Yourself a Target
What you wear and how you dress will directly impact your safety. Wearing expensive or flashy jewelry is exactly what thieves are looking for. Keep it on the down low when in public! Clothes that are too tight or restrictive can inhibit your chance to run or defend yourself – and thieves will see that! Showing wads of money or leaving valuables on counters in stores while you are paying for goods is another way you can entice bad-doers.
Always hold yourself confidently, act wisely and don’t be a target.
Being proactive to keep yourself safe is your best self-defense move.
Last thoughts: Consider Taking a class
Whether it’s a personal self defense class or something a little more involved like a martial art or Krav Maga, take a class from your local Y or attend a seminar by the local police force. They can show you a few moves to help you defend yourself, if necessary. When I took mine, our instructor emphasized – go for the soft spots. Use your fingers in their eyes, your hands/elbows/knees/feet in their crotch, your fingers in their throat – bite their noses and ears. Do anything you can to get a window of opportunity to run away.
Awesome article….
Thanks – I appreciate that!